“I can’t breathe! I don’t have time to breathe! I need to find a way,
any way, to END this stupid movie !”
IT ALL BEGAN AT THE BEGINNING
We did have a cover. It looks professional.
It all started on a sunny day of May, way back when in 2017… It was glorious. It was beautiful. It was mesmerizing. It was a miracle we had a camera and someone who knew how to operate it.
We begun with Scene 14, and simultaneously, we started our war with weed whackers and any kind of flying contraptions that apparently were meeting above our set.
Wait, wait, wait! What is this nonsense about shooting the movie? Backtrack a bit and tell everyone how this whole adventure has started. Coherence, for once!
MaJaMa (namely Matthew, Jason and Matteo) are genetically programmed to watch movies. Good movies, medium movies, bad movies, atrocious movies, bottom-of-the-barrel movies, ceiling-underneath-the-floor-where-the-barrel-is-placed movies and so forth.
One fateful day back in 2016 (give or take), they were watching the umpteenth monster movie of the SyFy network, complaining about — well, everything. And finally, Matteo blurted out, “We should write our own movie and call it ‘Bad CGI Sharks.'”
Bad CGI Sharks came to exist with all the stunning serendipity of a romantic comedy. In 2016 (this is the correct year?), Matteo was visited by an old friend from his dying planet of Italy, Emilio Pozzolini, who came to visit Los Angeles on vacation and brought with him his friend, Alessandro Arcidiacono. The three simply enjoyed their time together until, on the very last day of their visit, the topic of current projects were brought up. Emi and Ale dropped the mega-bomb: they had been working as a duo making music videos, co-directing them and splitting other tasks: Ale covering the visual and Emi the audio, and were looking for a project to come to America with and showcase their skills.
Around this time, MaJaMa, disgusted by the sheer deluge of truly shitty movies they were binging still getting released, decided there was no reason that couldn’t make their own movie that would be, at worst, equal in its shittyness. As most of the movies they tortured themselves with could fall under the “sharksploitation” category, they set their sites on that particularly sub-genre. “We’ll call it ‘Bad CGI Sharks’,” Matteo deadpanned one day, referencing these films’ penchant for less-than-stellar special effects. The other two laughed, not knowing one day this would be the most perfect, attention-grabbing title they could come up with.
Peanut butter, meet jelly. Emi and Ale agreed to fly out the following spring to begin production on the movie, lighting the fire under the collective ass of MaJaMa that they always needed to truly jump into action. The script went through three completely different versions, with the first one being far, far too reliant on endless, break-the-fourth-wall, ‘we know we’re in a movie’ jokes. Eventually, the tone was settled on, with Matteo’s character being the narrator that would guide viewers through the journey. Harkening back to the early days of American Graffetus (and damn near every creative project they’d ever attempted), the brothers decided to use themselves and their journey as the template for the characters.
Overly-aware of not being actors, they tried to play to their natural strengths as much as possible, with Matthew in particular insisting they put time into controlling the one thing they actually could at this extremely low budget level – the story. Much work was done to ensure there was an actual character-based plot that moved forward as opposed to the parade of apathy-inspiring stock characters and paint-by-numbers scenarios usually littering shark flicks.
Production kicked off in May ’17, with the entire movie being shot in 21 days and an insanely small budget of $6,257.34. Most shots were done guerrilla style, with the tight, five man crew running around Burbank, looking for random spots where they could spit out their lines as quickly (and, ideally, as competently) as possible.
Any problems were usually overcome, however, by the instantly cohesive nature of MaJaMa and Emi and Ale (known collectively as ThisGasThing). Bringing in producer Sheila Marie, whom Matteo knew from his days baking in the sun as a character herder at Universal Studios Theme Park, the team now had someone to focus on the logistics and casting while they worried about everything else.
Emi and Ale flew back to Italy to start post-production, while MaJaMa stayed in Matteo’s Sherman Oaks condo, assembling their ideal cut from the raw footage. Bad CGI Sharks post-production was then a global affair, with the team communicating regularly between Los Angeles, Italy, and Japan, where Ale often found himself as he birthed the titular sharks.
It took two full years for them to get to the final cut, but they were all shocked that it actually felt like a movie, and, even more so, that most people seemed to agree once they finally launched their trailer. Humbled by the enthusiasm from fans on social media before their movie even dropped, MaJaMa looks forward to the future of hopefully growing the BCS cult audience and finally amusing someone other than themselves with their distinct brand of idiocy.
MORE THINGS (ON THE LEFT)
EVEN MORE THINGS (ON THE RIGHT)
Here we will tell you AMAZING stories about how this movie came to be. Or not. Whatever.
Like this sketch made by Matthew for an important prop in the movie. Are you titillated yet?
Here we will tell you MORE AMAZING stories from the set, from the postproduction, from exotic places like Mel’s Diner and the like. Stay tuned!
Or the exact same sketch (still made by Matthew for an important prop in the movie), only now in color and with words. No titillation?
Our Stooges (well — mostly, Moe) have the bad habit to “crash” other movie posters. Here you have a sample of what they’ve been doing as of late.